


Sharing

by suallenparker



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M, I haven't seen the promo for 4x02 yet and I'm wildly speculating, I hope you enjoy it!, add on for 4x01 "Ghost", episode add on, post 4x01, science is made up in this story, this is mostly angst and love confessions and talking about feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-22
Updated: 2016-09-22
Packaged: 2018-08-16 18:14:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8112358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suallenparker/pseuds/suallenparker
Summary: Phil confronts Melinda about her habit of not sharing





	

**Author's Note:**

> Set after 4x01 “Ghost” - this is an Add on to the episode.
> 
> Since 4x02 hasn’t aired yet, I’m speculating wildly! Also, I’m ignoring the promo because I haven’t watched it yet and I got this idea and I like it so we all have to deal with it! I hope you enjoy this one shot!

They had to sedate her. But before they could, she took out her whole team, broke one of Mack’s rips and gave Phil some fresh bruises and a black eye. She was quite a fighter! And too damn stubborn and set on being a lonely warrior for her own good.

Fortunately, nobody died, but some of her agents had concussions and a few broken bones.

The worst had been her screaming as she fought, not an angry scream, but one of despair. Like she had cried after Bahrain.

She was breaking his heart.

Why hadn’t she told him something was wrong? And if she didn’t trust him, why not confide in Simmons? Why the hell had the kept this to herself?

Afterwards, they carried her to sickbay. Even under sedation, she didn’t stop whimpering.

And he had known that something had been up before! He had felt it! He had asked her about it yesterday evening during their game, he had asked her this morning when she had been jumpy. And she had lied to his face.

Just tired?

Just bullshit.

Apparently there had been something alien in her system, but with Fitz’s help, Simmons came up with a solution. Now Melinda’s tests and scans came back clean.

The director wanted to debrief her himself, but Simmons had ordered her to bedrest in her room.

Well, Phil was going to pay her just a tiny get well visit.

He knocked on the door to her room. It didn’t even take her three seconds to open the door, so there was no way she had been in bed like Simmons wanted.

She wore one of her work out outfits and a sweater. Her hair was in a ponytail.

“Phil.” She looked exhausted. “I’m so sorry …”

“I know.” That wasn’t the point. That wasn’t the problem.

If she wanted distance between them, fine! He was used to that. He was just work, right? That was what she had said. Stupid boundaries. But he could accept them.

But damn, he felt stupid. He had thought they had moved past that. He had thought they were friends again.

Apparently not.

So they would be partners. Work acquaintances. Whatever the hell that meant to her. He could live with that. But not trusting anybody when she was in trouble? That was something that would kill her. And that was something he wouldn’t survive. So today he would have to blur the lines again.

Damn him for being in love with her. Such a fool.

“Can I come in?” he asked. His voice was shaky. He could’ve lost her!

She nodded, before she stepped back. She looked beaten, too.

He followed her in and closed the door behind him. Her room was as tidy as ever, her bed was made. A yoga mat lay on the floor.

He frowned at her. “You should be in bed.” She really needed to take better care of herself.

She pressed her lips together and crossed her arms.

Response enough for him.

“Do you want to die?” he asked. Even asking it made his stomach cramp.

Her eyes widened. “Excuse me?”

He swallowed hard. “Do you want to die?”

She looked down. “No.”

Oh thank God! He sighed. He felt lighter already. “Do you want to leave?”

If after everything that happened to her, he would understand that. He would miss her like hell, but he would understand. He could let go of her like that. They barely saw each other now, he assumed they would stop seeing each other completely if she’d leave SHIELD.

After Bahrain, she had cut him out. Sometimes they had talked on the phone. He could go back to that. If it’d be the best for her, if it’s be what she wanted, he would do everything in his power to make that possible.

She looked at him again. “No.”

“Then what the hell are you doing?” he asked. “You could’ve killed someone! You could’ve gotten killed!”

“I know.”

He hated seeing that shame on her face. Bahrain all over again. God, he hated this! She broke his heart.

“Why didn’t you tell me that something was wrong?” Why didn’t she trust him?

She had told him he meant a lot to her. She had told him, she wanted to bring him to Australia. She had told him that she would never shoot him in the head.

How the hell was that not blurring the lines?

He was so done with being her damsel in distress.

He swallowed hard. “I could’ve helped.”

He wanted to help. He just wanted to be her friend. He’d gladly settle for that.

She pulled her shoulders up.

“Is this punishment, then?” he asked. She had punished herself with isolation before. Her divorce. The stupid desk job.

“I thought I could handle it,” she mumbled. “I’m sorry.”

He didn’t doubt that. He knew she felt guilty. He knew she felt shame for hurting others.

“You have to start sharing,” he said. His voice was raspy. “It doesn’t have to be with me. Just pick someone. Just one.” His throat tightened. “Please.”

Again, she avoided his gaze.

Life was such a mess. Andrew was dead. Daisy was on the run and the new director was not to be trusted.

But there were still some good people surrounding them.

“You mean a lot to me,” he rasped. “A lot.” He cleared his throat. “I need you to take care of yourself.”

She pulled in a sharp breath. “Phil,” she mumbled.

“I need to know that there’s someone that got your back.”

She looked at him. “You do.”

Of course he did! “Then please talk to me!”

“I’m fine now.”

He tilted his head.

“I’m handling it.”

“Why is it that you always get to save me but I never get to return the favor?” he asked.

She pressed her lips together. For a moment there was just silence. Their breathing. Nothing else.

“You died,” she said then, so quietly he almost couldn’t hear her.

She almost died today. If Simmons hadn’t come in with the sedative, another agent, one of the director’s agents, would’ve shot her. That thing, whatever it was could’ve killed her.

“I can’t imagine life without you,” he said. “You know that. You know how I …” She knew how he felt, didn’t she? He sighed. His heart was racing. “You know I love you.” Always had, always will. That was the problem. That was why she had put up those boundaries in the first place. “So if you think you owe me anything for not saving me from Loki, you don’t. You don’t owe me anything and you don’t have to save me on your expense. Not anymore.” He had hated having to ask her to shoot him.

Now she stared at him, her eyes widened.

He couldn’t keep her gaze. This was too hard. “Please let me be your friend, I won’t read anything into it, I just - “

“You love me?” she asked. She sounded insecure.

“Yes.”

“You love _me_?” she asked again. How could this surprise her?

“I love you.” By God, he did. So much.

She pulled in a breath. “Why?”

Was she serious? “Because you’re _you_.” Easiest question he ever got. Could it be possible that she hadn’t known?

Her eyes teared up, she pressed her lips together. When the first tear rolled down her cheek, he pulled her into his arms.

She grabbed his shirt with both hands and pressed herself against him as she cried into his shirt, sobbing quietly. He ran his hands over her back and shoulders, he kissed the top of her head. His bruises hurt, but it didn’t matter.

As much as it pained him to see her cry, this felt like relief. So he just held on to her like she held on to him.

After a while, her tears stopped and her breathing slowed. She lifted her head and looked at him with reddened eyes. “I’m so sorry for hurting you,” she mumbled and licked her lips.

She was so close, he could easily kiss her. That might ease all his pain. He swallowed hard. “I can take it,” he said and forced himself to smile.

She raised her hand and ran the back of her fingers over his cheek.

“Melinda …” He grabbed her hand and kissed it.

“I love you so very much,” she said. “I’m so sorry.”

His heart skipped a beat before it started racing.

She glanced at his lips before she looked back into his eyes. And then they both moved towards each other. Her hand cradled his face and he wrapped his arms around her waist. She tiptoed. His eyes closed. He could feel her breath. And then he could feel her lips on his.

And like he had suspected, all his pain disappeared.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what you think? I love to read from you!


End file.
